a new start

When i first learned how to blog i started a nifty blog to ramble in...handed out the address to anyone who asked and then kind of tapered off when life got hard....i started another one to dwell on other parts of my life that i didn't really want everyone reading and gave that addy to a select few....another one when i explored Gor....

As you can see my blogging got a little confusing and a lot out of control and so i'm consolidating...this blog is just about me, i'm not chopping me up into three different blogs i'm just going to be one person with one blog and this is it. I figure if there are things i write that i don't want my dear sweet mother to read then i wont SHOW it to my dear sweet mother and my problem is solved. So this is the blog i will write everything in, as a result i wont pass out the addy to just anyone and so if you are reading this you should A. feel lucky that i love you enough to share my all-in-one blog...or...B. feel lucky you don't know me and just happened on it because now you don't have to feel obligated to keep reading my drival.

A blog is, to me, a way to vent your demons...a wau to pretend to be a writter who has an audiance out there somewhere hanging off of your every word...a way to talk yourself in circles until you can finally untangle the thoughts in your head....a way to pick up the things you learn/accompish in a day, dust it off, and frame it on your wall of blog. It is the greatest tool of fooling yourself into thinking that your words aren't falling on deaf ears, or lying in a folder on your computer somewhere doing no good whatsoever. I honestly don't expect anyone to read my blog, it isn't about that, but somehow it is easier for me to type to someone else about what i'm thinking than it is to just type to myself...i can explain things to some ellusive 'someone' reading, but if i try to explain to myself i feel like an idiot and never get said what i want to say.

My friend sent me her blog yesterday, as i read her words i got almost this homesick feeling...the freedom of self expression called out to me and suddenly i needed that connection again...i don't know yet whether to thank her or smack her...but as i am not the smacking sort i suppose i'll thank her but i'll grumble a lot while i do so.

I'm too tired tonight to do much other than start...as it is i have to pause and stare off into space ever three or four lines...but i feel better already and hopefully i can keep this one going and remember to write in it from time to time.